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I agree with kcowan. That said, the OP also should know that unless the OP is funding all of the direct house costs and has a co-hab that explicitly sets aside that asset (depending on whether they now are common law according to their provincial law), her partner could have some entitlement to the share of the current property in event of a relationship breakdown. If the partner is paying pseudo rent, that could provide asset protection.

That aside, this couple does need to have a broader discussion on how to balance it all going forward and the OP does need to decide whether she can live with more equality and give up some of her individual financial well being and control. The OP seems to want to do that to improve (potentially save) the relationship but she will take some risk in doing so. The joint bank account seems like a good idea for general household costs, even funded disproportionately relative to earning power. We do this in our co-hab arrangement funding joint expenses disproportionately relative to income, albeit it is less complicated since we each have 50% ownership in our house.

Not suggesting this is the case at all, but we likely all know couples where one partner does most of the heavy lifting and the other rides along not willing (different from trying) to contribute proportionately, otherwise sometimes known as leeches or bums. Those relationships will likely breakdown, as have a few of those kind in my extended family. We all later observed....what took it so long to break up? It works best when both partners are putting in commensurate effort, relative to their earning potential.
 

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Completely agree with kcowan.

Sounds like relationship counseling would be a good place to start, your father likely see's things that concern him.
You say the relationship has been taking some hits lately, find out how he feels about counseling before going forward.
 

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We have always had joint accounts. Only exception has been when the acct advised seperate for some HISA accounts. It has never been an issue. But I guess it is each to their own.
 

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Perhaps when he's saved up more and we're ready to buy a house together, we can put our names on the mortgage.
That seems like the most sensible time to merge finances in my opinion, either when you buy a house together with a 50/50 split, or when he is able to pitch in the same amount you have for your current house, or Marriage, whichever comes first!

Before that, in my opinion, keep it separate.
 

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That seems like the most sensible time to merge finances in my opinion, either when you buy a house together with a 50/50 split, or when he is able to pitch in the same amount you have for your current house, or Marriage, whichever comes first!

Before that, in my opinion, keep it separate.
Indeed. Today's 20 and 30 somethings usually have different dynamics than their elders, and particularly when a couple starts to co-habitate after some some years of building net worth. But be sure to sort out how the relationship works and is humming on most cylinders before any family dynamics come into play.

FWIW, a house does not have to be a 50/50 split, e.g. with tenants-in-common title, but it will likely be impossible to get a mortgage with that kind of title. Regardless, a co-habitation agreement that can convert to a pre-nup is an option.
 

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We all later observed....what took it so long to break up? It works best when both partners are putting in commensurate effort, relative to their earning potential.
Yes. In my case, the split started when DW refused to return to work even part time when the kids were in school.
 

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My wife and I always did split bank accounts. I am guessing we are weird in that regard but we have never seen the need to have a joint one. I pay for all the home expenses, and she sends me money when I ask for it, as I sometimes put too much in investing accounts and fall short.

She typically pays food / daycare and insurance.

As I am the breadwinner and she is down to 4 days a week, this way works great for us as it equals out the investment assets for tax purposes.

We both have the same philosophy of money and goals so that helps.
 

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My wife and I always did split bank accounts. I am guessing we are weird in that regard but we have never seen the need to have a joint one. I pay for all the home expenses, and she sends me money when I ask for it, as I sometimes put too much in investing accounts and fall short.

She typically pays food / daycare and insurance.

As I am the breadwinner and she is down to 4 days a week, this way works great for us as it equals out the investment assets for tax purposes.

We both have the same philosophy of money and goals so that helps.

Nothing is weird now days what works is what both parties feel is good for them.
 

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That seems like the most sensible time to merge finances in my opinion, either when you buy a house together with a 50/50 split, or when he is able to pitch in the same amount you have for your current house, or Marriage, whichever comes first!

Before that, in my opinion, keep it separate.
I agree with this.

When my partner and I were first together "our" house and all the bills were in my name because I had income and a bit of money put away to use for the downpayment - she wouldn't have qualified for anything, part of the time she was in school and I supported her, after that she worked and paid me a lump sum monthly instead of worrying about splitting bills. We have now bought a house together and used the proceeds from the old house for the down-payment and some renovations. We have a joint "house account" where we both contribute money to, and all bills come from that account. No other joint finances, we've been common-law for ~6 years now. It has worked wonderfully and we've had no issues with finances.
 

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^Agreed there is no need for a joint account until marriage, or perhaps new house purchase.

One pays some bills, the other pays other bills, with occasional reimbursements as per "fairness" if needed, is the way to go.
 

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^Agreed there is no need for a joint account until marriage, or perhaps new house purchase.

One pays some bills, the other pays other bills, with occasional reimbursements as per "fairness" if needed, is the way to go.
We don't need a joint account, we just find it easier, why mess around with two accounts, and credit cards with money all over the place when you can use one account and 1 (actually 2) credit cards for everything. Much easier to keep track of.

For me, there isn't much if any benefit to split accounts, so why bother with the trouble.
 

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Again it depends very much where one is in a relationship. In the beginning with disparity in assets and income? A late-in-life relationship, or blended family, where asset integrity is more likely highly important? There is no such thing as a single simple answer. It is best to characterize the 'why' one methodology might be better, along with the what.
 

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We got a joint account before buying a property. When you are ready to buy a property with someone, I guess it means you feel that the relationship is strong enough. We were together for only 3 years when we bought. And then we got married on the 4th year.

The goal was to simplify the finances. Most things are bought from the joint account. Our income goes directly into that account. Our personal accounts are nearly empty. The joint account "pays" monthly a fixed amount of money to our personal accounts for personal expenses. We defined "personal expenses" together.

Basically, our income is pooled together and we have the exact same amount of money available monthly for our personal expenses.
 

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In my case, I think it was easier to make a joint bank account with my partner because we have the same job and the same salary and with a joint account we just simplified our life but the hardest for me was to find a bank that will be the safest and with the best offers. At first, I looked for banks near me to see what we have around and I found a lot of good banks and I had no idea what is better, I hoped that I will understand at the first glance what is better. Fortunately, one of our friends works with banks and recommended the perfect bank for our needs.
 

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In my case, I think it was easier to make a joint bank account with my partner because we have the same job and the same salary and with a joint account we just simplify our life.
We have had joint finances since we started living together.
It's just money, and no matter how you slice and dice it, it's just one pie.
Might as well dump it all together and allocate as best as possible.

The thing I don't understand about his/her money is why?
Are you in a partnership working together, if so why is money separate, as it's a very significant tool in the modern world.
 

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In our case, it is separate because DW wanted to spend on certain things without asking/telling. Although we have separate investment portfolios, I manage it all as one. I do the monthly expenses and she does the annual expenses, including our income tax balances owing. It works. (Somewhat redundant after retirement but why change?)
 

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Married long. Everything joint (Although we have wills, when the first of us dies it won't be required). I manage all accounts, investments, bills, taxes and keep her fully informed. Wife plans, and books all travel, including travel insurance. Neither of us are big spenders and we have never had any significant disagreements on money, purchases etc.

Everything was joint from the day we married, long ago, at age 22. We were both working but basically had no assets.
 

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The world is very different today. Relationships forming later in life when assets have been accumulated, both parties having been independent financially, multiple relationships, LGBTQ2 relationships, polyamory, late in life relationships, etc.

I went through the traditional way of things of post #37 the first time around but that is over. My current spouse and I got together AFTER retirement. It is important to both her and I to maintain our own finances and keep them 'protected' for our own heirs. We purposely put our house in 50/50 tenants in common title to be sure ownership would remain in the right estate at first death.

Those into decades long relationships simply don't have a basis to be critical. End of story.
 

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Those into decades long relationships simply don't have a basis to be critical. End of story.
Sure they do, they have decades long relationships.

I've seen every type of relationship succeed, and every type of relationship fail.

I think in a true partnership, consolidated finances are mandatory.
You can call it whatever you want, but if you're separating out money into his and hers, it's not a true partnership.

I do accept tactical measures to estate planning for heirs, but actual living expenses, nope.
If you're not sharing money, you're not together.
 

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Ah, but I don't recall that anyone said couples keeping their assets to themselves were not sharing living expenses. That is exactly what everyone I know in this situation does by having a joint account and each contributing to it monthly. I am not sure why one would conclude otherwise.

In our case, the vast majority of our monthly living expenses are shared via joint account funding, and a joint credit card. We then each have our own accounts and credit cards for those things we wish to buy/spend on our own from our own funds. If I want a new suit (which I don't), I fund that from my own account. My spouse shouldn't have to ante up for that. Same in her case for her new shoes. But we pay for groceries, sundries, utilities, property taxes, restaurant meals, gas for our jointly owned vehicle out of the joint account. It is simply a matter of what is 'ours' in a loosely defined way, versus what is clearly a personal expense.

Added: There are many reasons for 'later in life' couples to keep their assets separated, and that is due to wide differences in net worth coming into the relationship and/or children from earlier marriages who should not be expected to have their potential inheritances pooled with step-siblings. It is about fairness.
 
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