I told you to man up pwm. How you choose to do that is entirely up to you. It's an expression that goes straight to the point and is not ambiguous as to the intent. The point was that there should be no dinner and I'm glad to hear it is off.The family Easter dinner is off. Not because I followed some advice here like "Man up and tell her NO", or telling my wife "They're not getting in the door". That's not how our relationship functions and probably why it has lasted this long. Instead of making this a battle of wills I contacted my son and mildly suggested I didn't think it was a good idea. He was wavering already and decided not to come. Then I told my wife I'd support her decision if she wanted to continue with my daughter & her family but I did have some reservations. After a day she agreed. I've learned a few things after 50 years of marriage.
Bear in mind, you posted that you WERE going to go along with it and THAT is what I reacted to. There should never have been any thought about going along with it to begin with. You might have chosen to bide your time, sow some seeds and then come to agreement it was a bad idea. But you should NEVER had been thinking about going along with it at all and that is what you posted that you were in fact doing.
To me was no different than if someone had posted I intend to drink and drive. My reaction would be the same, 'NO, don't do that, it is a wrong thing to do.'
My wife and I have been married for 20 years. Not as long as you have been married certainly but what you have learned over 50 years is how to get along with your wife. You have a relationship that works for you. In my relationship with my wife, we work differently. If one or the other says 'no' to something, it does not have to be justified to the other and both of us really dislike any attempt to 'manipulate' us. What someone might think is being 'subtle' in getting their point across is often something we both see as attempting to manipulate someone. From my perspective, you had to 'manipulate' your wife to get her to change her mind. Different strokes as they say.
If my wife had said, 'I think we should have the family over for dinner', my immediate reaction would have been, 'you've got to be joking. That's not happening'. There would have been no argument, no anger. We both agree or it doesn't happen. If I said, 'I think we should buy a new car while this virus is getting the manufacturers to offer good deals', I can imagine the same response coming from my wife and that would be the end of that idea.
We may all have our different ways of doing things but none of us should ever be even thinking about 'going along to get along' with what we know to be a bad idea. That is not how good relationships are built.